We all have a million things on our plate, let’s be real. There is a lot being expected of us all the time: from work, to family, to our own expectations of who we should be, and a moment of relaxation is rare. Let’s reframe this, because perspectives lacking optimism aren’t helpful to anyone.
While we have a lot going on, there are a few things to look at. The very first:
where you are in your life is where you’re supposed to be.
If you were supposed to be further along, you would be. If you were supposed to be farther behind, you would be. And besides, what ifs of the past and maybes of the future aren’t happening right now, so let’s skip them and just focus on what’s going on right now. This is the only moment we are currently experiencing, so let’s accept it and be content.
In America especially, we are expected to do way more than we can handle pretty much from birth. There isn’t a path I found growing up that didn’t have monumental challenges. Because of this, there is usually quite a bit of pressure on us to be a certain way, to act in a particular role, to participate in specific things, and to assimilate to our surroundings in a clone-like fashion. Even being “unique and rebellious” is has its own expectations and judgements from society, and you’re participating in those even if that’s not really you and you’re just dressing the part.
So where you are at is just fine. Even if where you are now isn’t where you ideally picture yourself, that’s okay. This whole culture doesn’t actually make a lot of sense, so don’t worry about your what ifs and maybes.
The first step for progress in anything in life is accepting where you are and being truly content with it.
Second thing to look at: There are many labels we call ourselves. I’m a college student, you’re a dad, he’s an IT guy, she’s a barista, etc. These aren’t bad, but there are specific profiles we imagine in our minds upon thinking of each of these…we more often than not see people as labels, not for who they really are. Now let’s bring the focus back to you.
Yes, society and family has had a big hand in how we view ourselves, but labeling ourselves is very limiting, so let’s drop that too. Each of us ultimately gets to decide who we really are.
For me, I’ve concluded I am just love. I am Alyssa, and I am love. It works well because there are no judgements to be had, just love to exist around me all the time. It was a challenge to peel all my layers back far enough and to accept life where it is all the time to live in love, but I’ve never been happier and more excited to be alive. Now the labels and roles I play are fun and are out of choice, and they don’t define me. Also, they don’t exist because someone told me I should be a certain way. I’m just living from where my heart guides me.
Where I’m at in life is perfect, and who I am is perfect. The same goes for you. Discover your(real)self.